


The Little Death

by Reis_Asher



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Hannor, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon, Sad, Suicide, Tearjerker, Virgin Connor (Detroit: Become Human), hankcon - Freeform, i hope you brought tissues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 03:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16568885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reis_Asher/pseuds/Reis_Asher
Summary: Connor has been distant lately, and Hank thinks Connor wants to move out. Hank's shocked when Connor tells him he wants to sleep with him, and all too happy to oblige. But there's a reason behind Connor's urgency, and a sadness in his eyes that doesn't go away even in the throes of orgasm...





	The Little Death

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me when I was writing In The Cold, and I had to write it, because I love ripping hearts out and stepping on them...

Hank sat on the couch and sighed. Connor was in the bedroom again, standing stiffly in the corner, running another diagnostic. How many damn upkeep programs did he need to run, anyway? And why did he have to run them in the early evening and then stay up wandering the house all night?

Hank was pretty sure Connor was running away from something, but every attempt at finding out what he was running from had been politely rebuffed.

_"There's nothing wrong, Hank."_

_"I'm operating at nominal parameters, Hank."_

_"I don't know what you mean by distant, Hank."_

Hank could only hope he'd figure it out in his own time. Meanwhile, he was stuck watching reruns of some TV show while Sumo slept in the corner. A couple of beers had taken the edge off, but he hated moments like these, when the house was too quiet and his mind wandered to Cole.

He missed Cole, and now he missed Connor, too. Perhaps the android had decided he didn't want to live with his friend after all. Any day now he'd quietly take his stuff and leave, probably to be with his own people. There was nothing keeping him here, if Hank wasn't.

The rejection stung and he wandered back into the kitchen for another beer. He almost jumped out of his skin when he turned around to see Connor standing behind him.

"Jesus, Connor! You almost gave me a fuckin' heart attack!"

Connor stood quietly, staring at Hank, and Hank knew this was it; the moment when Connor announced he was leaving. There was something in his eyes, beneath the soft brown orbs, that spoke of pain, guilt, and promises broken. He'd seen it plenty in his line of work, usually right before a confession.

He wanted to say something, to tell Connor it was all right, but the words stuck in his throat. It wasn't all right, not really. The only friend he'd let past his shields since Cole's death was going away, and he didn't even know what crime he'd committed. Maybe it was the slovenly way he kept his house, or the fact he still showed up to work late most days. Or the fact his alcoholism hadn't just up and left, though he was trying to work on it. He just needed time, and a scant three months after the revolution wasn't enough.

A lifetime might never be enough, and he knew it. Perhaps that was the thing Connor had finally figured out; the loss of a child was a pain that never went away. But a dealbreaker for living together? Was he really that intolerable?

"I want to sleep with you, Hank," Connor finally said.

Hank's jaw dropped slightly. He closed it, aware his mouth was hanging open. His lips moved to say something, but no tangible words came out.

He had to have misunderstood, but how else could he take that sentence? Connor was an android, he didn't _sleep_. Connor wasn't inviting him to take forty winks in the same bed. Connor wanted to have sex with him.

 _Connor wants to have sex with me._ He repeated the thought in his mind. It was an absurdity, ridiculous to the point of Hank stifling a laugh. It wouldn't do to break into laughter in front of Connor, who'd put himself out there to make this confession.

His brain finally formed words and they spilled out of his mouth before he could debate the wisdom of them. "Right now?"

"I can't wait any longer, Hank." Connor looked down at the floor, a crimson blush coloring his cheeks. "I need you."

"It's okay," Hank soothed, closing the distance between them and lifting Connor's chin so their eyes met. "You don't have to look ashamed. It's perfectly normal to have desires."

Connor managed a wan smile. "I thought you'd turn away, or be disgusted. You've never expressed any attraction to masculine people, I—"

"I haven't expressed any attraction, period," Hank complained. "Depression will do that to you. Sap the fun out of everyday things. It's been comin' back, though, since the revolution, little by little. You've turned my head, Connor. I didn't imagine I had a chance in hell. Just look at me."

"I am looking at you. You're very handsome," Connor said. The seriousness in his soft gaze made the self-deprecating joke fizzle on Hank's tongue. 

"Is this—is this why you've been so quiet, lately?" Hank asked.

"I have been attempting to sort through my feelings and desires, yes. I have been making plans for a number of outcomes, including violent rejection."

"Connor, I would never—"

"I calculated only a one percent chance of that happening."

"What was the chance of _this_ , huh?" Hank seized Connor and kissed him. He started out slow, trying not to scare the android, but Connor deepened the kiss at once, forcing his tongue into Hank's mouth. Hank accepted greedily, wrestling with Connor for dominance as his body showed the kind of interest it hadn't mustered in years.

Connor pulled away to let him breathe, and Hank gasped for breath at the same time he craved more of those kisses. 

"I predicted a thirty-three percent chance of this outcome, based on the data I had available." Connor closed his eyes. "Hank, I—since the revolution, you're all I can think about."

"You haven't had a lot of time to adjust to deviancy, yet," Hank warned. "Are you sure you want to do this? I can wait. We can work up to it slowly."

"I can't," Connor said. "I need you, Hank." He clawed at Hank's t-shirt. "Please." His pupils were wide as saucers in the low light, and Hank didn't have to run his hand down to Connor's crotch to know he was sporting an erection. His mouth was slightly open, his well-kissed lips slightly blue from the thirium rushing to them, and Hank realized he couldn't say no, not when this could be their only chance. He knew there was the possibility he was being selfish, that Connor would later come to regret a first time with him, but he'd just have to try harder to make it special. That way if Connor did eventually move on, he would know that Hank had loved him instead of just using him.

"Have you done this before?" Hank asked.

"No," Connor admitted. "As part of the prototype test, however, I was installed with the HR400 sexual companion application, along with a fully functioning penis. I know how to perform over one thousand sexual acts and positions."

"You've just never done it, huh? Well, when you're alone, what do you think about?" Hank asked.

"I want you to penetrate me," Connor explained, his blush deepening, the red of his programming mingling with the real blue blood under his skin to give his cheeks a slight purple hue. "I want to know what you feel like inside me."

Hank bit his lip, his cock twitching at the thought of being the one entrusted with guiding this beautiful android through his first sexual experience. "You sure you wanna start there? I've been told I give a pretty good blowjob."

"I want to come with you inside me, Hank. Please." His eyes were brimming with tears and Hank pulled him into his embrace. 

"Hey, it's okay. I just wanna make sure you're ready for this, kid."

"I want it more than anything in the world."

"Well then, let's get started, shall we?" Hank took Connor's hand and led him into the bedroom, closing the door and turning on the lamps. He pulled Connor into a soft kiss, fighting the urge to let the fire consume him. He didn't want to scare Connor, though the android didn't seem reluctant in the slightest as Hank fondled his cock through his jeans. He ground against Hank's palm, and Hank knew he'd be content just to make Connor come like this, to make him go all night, working up to the main event.

Connor clearly had other ideas, however. He reached for Hank's belt buckle and unfastened it, pulling Hank's belt out from the loops and tossing it aside. He unzipped Hank's jeans, breaking the kiss to pull them down with his boxers, and Hank stepped out of them.

"Hey, not so fast, Connor. I'm not so young anymore. I need a little foreplay." Hank pulled off his shirt and stood naked in front of Connor. He was fully erect and ready to go, but he didn't want to race straight to sex, no matter how desperate and eager Connor was. Connor meant too much to him to be treated like a hookup, even if this encounter never became a fully-fledged relationship.

Connor stepped back and looked Hank over with an appraising eye, making Hank feel self-conscious. He knew he'd seen far better days, but the reverence in Connor's gaze made him wonder what the android saw when he looked at his hairy, overweight, middle-aged body. His huge, hard cock jutted out from his body, his one source of pride in his body's mid-life crisis. Connor's eyes seemed to linger on it, the look of awe turning to hunger, the predator Connor who got what he wanted coming out to play.

Connor loosened his tie and pulled it off, tossing it aside as he worked on the buttons of his shirt. Hank stepped forward and helped him remove his jacket, tossing it over a chair. The shirt hit the ground and he worked on Connor's pants, unzipping them to find out the android didn't bother with underwear. Connor wiggled them down, stepping out of the puddle on the floor and coming to stand naked before Hank.

He was pure perfection, but of course he was. His creators had made the perfect man, chiseled out of white plastic and metal and covered with a skin and face so appealing Hank sometimes forgot to breathe while looking at him. His cock was average size and Hank felt a little absurd, his colossal prick like a battering ram at a cocktail party while Connor's was a fine, delicate thing, gorgeous and lovely like the rest of him.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Connor," Hank whispered. "I can't believe you want to let me fuck you." He leaned in and kissed Connor's neck, planting kisses across his collarbone like he was blessing a holy object. His huge hands caressed Connor's back, seizing his buttocks, and he felt like an ugly brute ravishing this perfect being. He wasn't worthy and he knew it, and that only made him want to make it all the more special for Connor.

Connor wrapped his hand around Hank's cock and gave it an experimental tug. Hank moaned, fighting the urge to fuck into Connor's hand and come all over those pretty, long fingers. Connor had made a request of him and he wanted to honor it, not waste his orgasm on a quick handjob. He pulled away and looked into Connor's eyes, wishing he knew why there still seemed to be sorrow lingering in those warm, brown eyes.

"Are you okay?" Hank asked.

"I'm more than okay," Connor replied. "I've never felt like this. I thought feelings were intense when I started to become deviant, but now I truly feel alive." He rested his head on Hank's chest and Hank buried his fingers in Connor's hair, marveling at how soft and silken it was to the touch. Connor pulled away and looked into his eyes, and leaned forward for a gentle, intimate kiss. Their cocks ground together as they kissed, and yet need had given way to something greater. As Hank pulled back for air, he realized he no longer had any doubts about doing this. It was right. They fit together, here as one, making love for the first time. The future could wait until tomorrow, but for the here and now, they were all that mattered.

Hank planted a quick kiss on Connor's lips and pulled away, disentangling himself from their embrace to rifle through the bedside table drawer. He came up with a bottle of lube. Connor climbed onto the bed, laying on his back and looking up at Hank as if he was the very center of the world. Hank climbed onto the bed and knelt between Connor's legs. He was tempted to take Connor's cock into his mouth and suck him off, but he didn't know if androids had a refractory period, and he didn't want to spoil the mood by asking, so he decided it could wait until another time and concentrated on fulfilling Connor's request. 

He lifted Connor slightly for better access. He slicked his fingers up before sliding one into the hairless, perfect, puckered hole. Connor gasped, writhing on the bed as Hank slid his finger in and out. Hank noted the precum glistening on the head of Connor's cock with satisfaction, and allowed himself the indulgence of leaning forward to lick it off with a flick of his tongue. Connor squeezed his eyes shut, as if trying to think of something else so he didn't come too soon.

Hank was more than flattered at that, but he knew he was going to prematurely end this thing himself if he didn't bury his cock in Connor soon, and he didn't want Connor to remember their first time as the time Hank had spent too quickly like an old man. He slipped a second finger into Connor, stretching him to take his cock so he wouldn't tear the precious android.

"Please, Hank, I can't hold out much longer!" Connor cried.

"Sorry, Connor. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't. I don't feel pain."

"I still don't want to damage you." Hank slid his fingers out and kissed up Connor's thighs. Connor let out a needy, frustrated whine. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll stop teasin'." Connor lifted his legs and held his thighs back with his hands, allowing Hank easy access. Hank pressed his head to Connor's hole, pressing his thick cock inside as the synthetic muscles relaxed to allow him access. He eased deeper into the slick hole, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he buried himself to the hilt in Connor's tight ass.

"I'm all the way in," Hank said. "How does it feel?"

"It's so good," Connor cried. "Fuck me, Hank!"

Hank was happy to oblige. He wasn't going to last long, but he wasn't sure Connor would, either. He built up a rhythm, pounding into Connor with long, quick strokes. He leaned down to kiss Connor, drinking in the sight of his flushed android, mouth open and panting, his usual composed demeanor in tatters because of him, and it drove him over the edge. He came with a shout, filling Connor's tight hole with his seed. He grasped Connor's cock in his hand, pumping it. Connor gasped and came, jets of semen coating his stomach and Hank's hand as Connor arched his back off the bed. 

Spent, he collapsed back on the bed. Tears pooled in his eyes, and Hank kissed them away. "Afterglow, huh?"

"No," Connor said. "Not afterglow." He grabbed Hank's wrist in a tight grip, demanding his attention, and Hank knew on some primal level that something was horribly wrong. "Hank. I need you to listen. I don't have much time. Three minutes, to be precise."

"Connor, what are you talkin' about?" Hank's stomach coiled into a tight knot.

"When CyberLife makes prototypes, they often trial concepts that they're thinking about expanding into other models," Connor explained. "At the time of my creation, CyberLife was in pre-trial talks with a high-end brothel to create a line of disposable, one-time use only sexbots. These androids would guarantee discretion by short-circuiting a vital and exclusive biocomponent after they came."

Hank didn't need to hear any more, but at the same time he had to know. "They built this into you?"

"I was designed to be disposable, Hank. If I died, they could just send another. I'm sure they hoped I would have sex at some point during the course of my mission and test out their device."

"Connor, why would you have sex with me, knowing you were going to die?" Hank cupped Connor's cheeks in his hands, despair overwhelming him as he realized he was going to lose another precious, irreplaceable loved one and once again, there was nothing he could do about it.

"I couldn't hold back any more, Hank. They built me with a sex drive, and I've wanted you from the moment we first met. It's a possibility that they built me to desire you, in hopes that would improve my chances of completing the mission and testing out their device. I'm sorry for being selfish, but I wanted to die with you, instead of in some desperate moment with my own right hand. I wanted to know what it felt like to make love to you."

"Connor, _no_ ," Hank cried, desperation tearing out of his body. He pulled Connor into his arms. "Tell me there's something I can do. I'll do whatever it takes."

"It's okay." Connor smiled. "Sex with you was more than I ever could have dreamed of. It was… perfect. I love you so much, Hank." Connor let go of Hank's wrist and lay back down on the bed, entwining his fingers with Hank's instead.

"Don't leave me, Connor," Hank pleaded. Tears rolled down his cheeks unbidden, but he ignored them. "I love you."

"It's kind of you to say that," Connor whispered.

"It's not a kindness," Hank snapped. "It's the truth. You deserve better than me, but I love you anyway." Hank wiped his eyes angrily, resenting the tears that blurred his vision and prevented him from seeing his Connor clearly.

"Less than a minute, Hank. I've got a request to make of you."

"Name it. Anything."

"I want you to go on living, Hank. Promise me you will stop playing that game and find a reason to keep going," Connor said.

"Connor, you can't ask that!"

"Promise me!"

Hank relented, not wanting to waste Connor's precious final moments on an argument. "Okay, okay. I promise. But you gotta promise me somethin' in return. If you see Cole where you're goin', tell him I miss him, and take good care of him, okay? I know he's gonna like you."

"I will," Connor said. "I promise." He looked up into Hank's eyes. "Hank, I'm scared. Hold me."

Hank lay down beside Connor and cradled him in his embrace as Connor closed his eyes. Hank kept his eye on his LED as it turned red and then went out, the energy draining out of his beautiful android forever. There would be no replacements this time. CyberLife would not send another Connor. Connor was dead.

Hank let out a guttural cry, the same one he'd let loose when he'd found out Cole was gone. He clutched Connor's body tighter, wishing he could give his life for Connor's, just as he'd begged God to let him switch places with Cole.

He wanted to reach for his gun and put it to his own head, but he'd made a promise, and he took those seriously. Instead, he sobbed until he could cry no more, the well of emotion emptying out and drying up until he was nothing more than a husk, a body in which the soul had already departed.

***

Chloe answered the door and welcomed Hank inside as if he wasn't carrying a dead android in his arms. Hank knew that Kamski would be of no use even before he stepped inside the room with the blood red pool and saw Kamski shake his head, but he'd had to try.

"The short-circuit caused by the kill switch biocomponent is irreversible," Kamski explained. "I would know. It was one of the last things I developed for CyberLife before I left."

"How could you?" Hank yelled. "You designed them to be deviant, didn't you? You designed them to break free, and then you let CyberLife use them like objects!"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I may have planted the seeds, but they had to want freedom. They've proven their status as living beings, but even living beings have to endure countless tragedies, Lieutenant Anderson. There are so many brief candles snuffed out before their time… Perhaps the proof that anyone is alive is the fact that someone will mourn their death."

"Fuck you!" Hank picked Connor up and headed for the door. "Nobody will mourn you, Mr. Kamski, and you'll never care enough about anyone to know grief of your own. Enjoy your cage with your captive birds. Someday they'll find their freedom, and I hope they break your neck on the way out." He stalked outside into the snow, carefully loading Connor's body into the trunk of his car. Even now, he looked like he was just sleeping, as if a kiss might wake him from his slumber, but Hank had tried, and those beautiful brown eyes had never fluttered open, because life wasn't a fairy tale.

He drove home in silence and lifted Connor out of the trunk one last time. He knew he should bury him, but he had no desire to see Sumo dig his components up out of the ground. An official burial was out of the question, as androids were still treated like scrap upon death, even in the post-revolution world. So Hank carried Connor inside. He walked into the bedroom and opened the closet, setting Connor down inside. He propped the android up in a sitting position, admiring the beauty of his still features, before planting a kiss on his forehead.

"Goodnight, Connor," Hank whispered. "Sweet dreams." He stood up and slid the closet door shut, wondering when he'd get to see the garden where Connor and Cole were waiting for him.

Until then, he had a promise to keep, and so he pulled his jacket off the coat hook and headed to the station to investigate another homicide. Maybe one of these days he'd get lucky and a pissed off perp would pump him full of lead, but until that day came, he'd live the life CyberLife had stolen from Connor, keeping his promise to the man he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I'll write some fluff to counter this epic sadness, I promise!
> 
> Please leave comments and kudos if you liked it!


End file.
